Miracles...and God DOES Exist

The challenge on Cafe Chat today is to tell of a miracle in my life. As Kim states, miracles come in many forms, some are large and some not so large but all are real.

My dad has had a heart condition for 30 years, but it has mostly been controlled with medication. Last fall, it flared up again and he was hospitalized for 3 weeks before the Drs. decided he needed to have bypass surgery. Dad has had surgery a number of times - just since retirement he has had a hip replacement and gallbladder surgery - but somehow heart surgery seemed way more serious. We all knew that he could die on the operating table or have a stroke as the father of a friend of mine had. The risks are low and bypass surgeries are done all the time without complications but still we worried. We were all praying - all I could pray was that God would guide the Dr.'s hands. Dad was at peace with whatever would happen as he went into surgery - the rest of us were trying to trust God for the outcome. Two of my brothers, an aunt, my mom and I waited at the hospital during the surgery. I remember the relief on Mom's face when the surgeon came to tell us the operation was successful - we were all feeling it. It is now almost 4 months since Dad's surgery and he is doing great, still recovering but it takes 6 months to a year to fully recovery from heart surgery. This summer, Dad and Mom will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and all 10 of their children plan to attend the reunion at a wilderness retreat centre - we currently live in 4 provinces and 2 states. Just before Christmas, Mom had an accident, non life threatening but very painful. That and Dad's illness has made us all realize that we don't know how long our parents will be with us and it has made it even more important for us all to be together for this milestone.

As for the 2nd part of the title of this post, I recently heard that a humanism group in Toronto is putting billboards on the side of transit buses stating "There probably is no God so quit worrying and get on with your life." Apparently the woman who wrote this sentence was tired of people worrying about pleasing (or appeasing?) God and avoiding hell. As one of my coworkers said, "I believe in God so I don't have to worry." Precisely. A few years ago, a different coworker (at a different job) challenged me to prove God is real. I'm not sure what I told him then but I believe that I cannot prove God's existence but He can and has proved His loving existence to me many times. If He were to prove his existence to an agnostic or atheist, though, I am not sure they would enjoy the experience. What I would say to an atheist/agnostic now is this: Suppose for one moment that I am wrong, suppose there is no God. When I die, it would be the end - no heaven or hell - no harm done, so to speak. But suppose I am right and there is a God and if I have lived my life for Him, I do not need to worry about hell - I know I will go to heaven. But what about you, if you are wrong, where will you be?

A New Year

What is the most important truth/lesson you feel God taught you in 2008? How will that truth change your life in 2009?

I think it can be summed up in a few words - "more of Him and less of me." I think I am a slow learner when it comes to this but I am determined to let Him guide me more through the coming year.

I haven't posted for awhile but I would also like to do more of that. I think I will try to do a year in review post - especially for those who haven't known me long. It has been a rather eventful year.

Updates on hearts

Dad had his angiogram today and is booked for triple bypass surgery on Monday. Fortunately my employer has great benefits which include family leave for this kind of thing. When I called a coworker and asked if she could work Monday for me, she asked if I was worried. Well, yes and no. I am glad they found something they can fix - it is so frustrating to KNOW something is wrong and the Drs can't find anything. Bypass surgery is done quite regularly these days and is not the major surgery it once was - but it still is major surgery and it always seems worse when it involves the heart. I trust the doctors (Mom and Dad have both been happy with them altho I haven't met them yet) and I trust God to take care of Dad but a little part of me still wants to worry, especially when I think of a friend's father who had a stroke during heart surgery. Please pray for Dad - and for me that I will continue to trust God.

The news is positive for little Susanna. She also needs heart surgery which was expected but it sounds like they expect a good outcome. Her surgery is on Tuesday.

Just to make things a little more interesting, I am having a garage sale tomorrow. It's not ideal with me still not getting around real well and Dad in the hospital but it needs to be done. My 13 year old niece and her cousin will help me and my niece in law and 2 of her friends are doing some baking to sell as well. I am used to Dad being around to put up signs but this time I need to figure that out on my own. I'm starting to realize how much I depend on him. I have rented a hall for it this time so I don't need to worry about the weather - it has been nice but a bit cool.

A Family in Need of Prayer

I was just told about this family this morning. My heart bleeds for them hoping and praying that their daughter will be well enough for them to take her home to the US. Start with this post. I experienced the loss of my daughter but I never hold her in my arms. To get this close and lose her would be so heartbreaking. They need our prayers so much. I wish I could do more but God can do way more than I ever could.

Just what I needed

Not long ago, my sis, M, sent me an email about a devotional blog she subscribes to - a devotional email is sent each day from this blog. I signed up, too, just a few days ago. This morning the devotion was on the sovereignty of God and it really spoke to my heart. I have told some of my friends, regarding my decision to disrupt the adoption I had so looked forward to, that I had fought the decision for a long time. We had revival meetings at our church the end of March - that is always a time of soul searching and trying to learn what God wants of us. I developed pneumonia at that time and was only able to attend the first meeting but, thanks to modern technology, I was able to listen to the services by telephone from my bed. As I lay there day after day, I struggled with giving everything to God - in fact, I thought I could give everything to Him except the adoption as I was afraid He would tell me to give it up. Like the example of the child in the devotional, I still cannot understand why it was not to be, but I need to accept that God in His sovereign way does know and has a plan for my life. Perhaps God knew that I would need this reminder today as this is the day I would have been receiving my daughter, had I continued with the adoption.

An update on the big P (pneumonia), I am just now getting strong enough to get some work done around the house and yard. It has been a long haul - I have been on sick leave again for the last 2 weeks - but I believe I am finally getting over it. I realize there are several things that have contributed to my prolonged illness - a major and somewhat rocky move to the community I now live in (finally in my own home the beginning of Dec. 07 after being "homeless" for 6 weeks), an accident with my new-to-me SUV (had it 2 months, did $10,000 damage when I hit a deer), the adoption and decision to disrupt.

Now that I am feeling stronger, I want to reach out to others more than I have in the past - like my nephew and his wife who have a 19 month old daughter and are expecting twins - I know she could use some help around the house. It is an exciting time for them but also physically draining on the mom. She told me yesterday that she had to realize that while her husband, a carpenter, could rest during the night and his body was not still building, hers was "building babies" 24 hours a day. There is a poem "Be the Best of Whatever You Are" - if you can't be the sun be a star, etc. If I can't be a mommy, I guess I will just have to be the best auntie that I can be - but I will still miss being a mommy.